“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:1-2

I had an entirely different entry written for today, one that has taken me weeks to even complete, and it was almost finished. Then, this happened:

I’m fairly certain most of you have seen this, and if you haven’t, welcome to 2012. My journey to God was an intensely private one, and was propelled by my need to make sense of my life. Unless you’re raised a certain way, I feel like most people take that same path, being prompted to make sense of something and seeking God. It took me a long time to come to terms with saying it outloud, because everyone reacts differently, and I’ve found that more often it is ‘cringe worthy’ to mention God or Jesus in casual conversation. Rightfully so, there is a cloud that follows ‘Christians’, especially now in 2012. It’s strange that the more we know, the less we are willing to tolerate, or maybe I notice it more now that I am in my late twenties.

I chose the Seventh Day Adventist church because it made the most sense to me. They believe certain things that make sense in my brain, and for awhile I felt so welcome and whole being in their presence. Spending time working at camp in California was the most enlightening and empowering experience I have ever had in my life, and I have the SDA church to thank for that. I will never apologize for believing in God, for actually striving to be the light myself, but I won’t pretend to agree that what the bible says is gold.

“All that glitters is not gold…”

What I took away from that time in my life was how to truly love myself. It was, and is, the most important thing I have learned to this day. My father taught me how to manage my money, my mother taught me how to keep a clean house, and learning about God taught me how to love myself. Maybe my brain is especially weird, because what I took away from everything was that God is Love. Not my judge, not my ‘father’, but my awesome friend who lifted me up constantly while patiently explaining that I was worthy of every good thing the world had to offer me. He is the same friend who opened my eyes a little wider to appreciate the beauty around me, and as cliche as it sounds, I have never once gone through a day without seeing something I wish I could hold and capture in my mind forever. I don’t think of God has a man up in the clouds, watching over me with wise eyes, but more as a general good example of what humanity should be like.

Not once in my journey did it ever occur to me that I could/should judge someone else for their lifestyle. Never once did it occur to me that “God hates gay people”, because ‘the bible says’ that marriage is between a man and a woman. I have never doubted for a second that all God wants me to do is paitently love other people, listen with kindness, and not rush to judgment. So, to watch the video above, it makes my heart sink a little. To know that my feelings are not the majority, and that we have people spreading hate in the name of everything I hold so dear and beautiful to my heart, it actually hurts.

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” John 15:12

I am not a perfect person, and I will judge the shit out of you if you’re rude or insensitive. I obviously say curse words, and my boyfriend and I are about to live together without being married. I am not perfect, but I try to be that damn light every single day because I owe it to myself to be a good person. I owe it to myself to try, and I owe it to the people around me to ‘live and let live’, because at the end of the day: we’re all the same. None of us have those answers that we seek from religion, or books, or each other, and it would be ignorant to think that we do. It would be ignorant to think that we, and we alone, know what the Bible truly means.

“And all the little ants are marching
Red and black antennas waving
They all do it the same
They all do it the same way”
-Dave Matthews

Unfortunately, I have a fairly busy schedule during the week, and she got a job working weekends, so we haven’t been able to connect. We’ve talked a little on Facebook, but we haven’t found a good time where we’re both available for coffee or drinks. This weekend, I was on Facebook and noticed her status announcing she was moving back to Chattanooga. My first reaction was an internal smirk, because she has been here maybe three months and is already throwing in the towel. My second reaction was a twinge of jealousy, because it must be nice to just ‘decide’ you’re done and go back to everyone and everything you’ve loved and missed. I remember when I left, all my good (and best) friends telling me that I would come back, that they didn’t think I would last out here. I didn’t stay to spite anyone, and we all know it hasn’t been the easiest journey out here, but I made a choice to make a change and I respect change.

She isn’t the first person I know to move from Tennessee to Seattle, and then move back after barely giving it a shot. Which makes me wonder what they’re not seeing in this amazing city. One of those people even moved here in the summer, one of the best times to live in the Pacific Northwest, and chose to leave after a few months. So today, I have been inspired to list five reasons why Seattle is the Best Place to Live:

Reason One: The rain.

Oh, you don’t agree? Does the rain depress you? Well, it’s actually one of my favorite reasons to live here. The rain is soothing, like a comfortable blanket and your favorite movie (of all time) on the couch when you’re sick. It’s also a dependable companion, smells awesome, and washes the pee off the sidewalk in Pioneer Square. It’s true, I am often wearing moccasin shoes and I am often cursing that fact, but I couldn’t imagine my life without the drizzle. Fun Fact: Annually, it rains more in Miami. Just sayin’.

Reason Two: The proximity to beaches and mountains.

I am not a beach person, but I do know of several beaches within a fifteen minute radius of where I live. When the sun is out, forget trying to get to any of them, because they’ll be packed with people soaking up every last inch. More power to them, because although the sun is not as rare of an occurance as people like to joke, a few hours catching some rays improves anyone’s mood. The mountains are a bit farther out, but within an hour, you can probably be pretty deep into some park or trail. My boyfriend and I have taken to hiking on Saturday mornings, and we can get up and accomplish this, while making it home by 11am to ‘start’ the rest of our day. It feels awesome.

Reason Three: The size.

Compared to many cities, Seattle is tiny. I love this because I still get the ‘city’ vibe, but I feel fairly safe walking through downtown late at night. I can also walk just about anywhere I would want to go (except the Interbay Whole Foods), and it’s awesome. After living in the actual city for a year now, I can’t imagine ever living somewhere that requires me to drive my car on a regular basis. For five years, I lived in Auburn, Kent or Puyallup (30-40 minutes south of here), and I never ever will again. I have only driven my car once in the last 4 weeks, and it’s extremely liberating.

Reason Four: It’s a ‘Blue’ State.

Now, this might not be a reason for everyone, and I understand that. After living in Tennessee for six years, I saw/heard a lot of things I don’t agree with. It’s hard for me to explain this, without calling out a group of my friends (and people I respect), so I will just say that I am extremely thankful Washington is mainly a liberal state. People aren’t always super nice here, but they aren’t assholes either, and I probably teeter on the edge of both on a daily basis. While politics aren’t the reason I chose to move here, I feel a little more free residing in a place where the majority feels similar about things that matter. Before you ask, yes, I do vote.

Reason Five: The ‘culture’.

This should obviously be a reason, because it’s a big one. Seattle is so diverse and downright strange at times, but it’s one of my favorite things about it. Portland has the reputation for being really oddball (which I agree with and love also), but Seattle always seems to be just on the brink of that. I am interested in everything, and here, I can meet ten different people who do ten different things that I think are awesome. I have always been drawn to jobs in an artistic environment, and Seattle has no shortage of those. Art, technology, the environment-it’s everywhere and people are so damn passionate about what they do. On the other side, I love the hippies at the Folklife Festival (which happens to be this weekend), and the naked bike riders at the Summer Solstice celebrating summer. People are always doing something, celebrating something, protesting something, or flash mobbing downtown. On any given weekend, we can walk down to the Market and something is happening around us.

I am obviously a Pacific Northwest girl all the way around, and I have no shortage of reasons why this is the best place to be. It kind of bums me out when people don’t appreciate it or don’t understand it, but I guess: to each their own.

Woo, it’s Wednesday!

I have listened to Radiohead’s ‘Idioteque’ about fifteen times today already, and I wish I could download into my brain and replay it as often as I want. If there was one song that I could listen to for the rest of my life, and have follow me around as my theme song, that would be it. That song exemplifies what happens in my brain, all day and everyday.

Getting out of town this weekend, it’s definitely time.

This entry went nowhere. Happy Friday

I don’t even know if I would be a good mother, even though at twenty seven, that “mom feeling” that some women have when they see a cute baby is definitely there for me. It’s pretty much centered on small babies though, not kids in general, and I feel the same way about dogs too. I definitely see a dog in my future.

Like almost everyone else, I have seen the newest TIME magazine cover, and I have an opinion. In case you haven’t seen it:

This irritates me for a few reasons. I believe in the “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should” mentality, and to me, that applies here. I support the right for a mother to breastfeed in public, because when your baby is hungry, it’s your job to be able to provide. As a society, I don’t think we should ban mothers from being able to provide for their children outside a gross public restroom, but I would also expect that mother would cover up as appropriate. We wouldn’t exempt a woman from sitting outside with her bare breast showing, and I think we should expect the same from breastfeeding mothers. I will not apologize for this stance, because as progressive and liberal as I am, I would feel the same way if one of my sisters was breastfeeding in public. This image of a child ‘feeding’ out in the open actually makes me uncomfortable.

My second reason is that child in the photo is too old, in my opinion, to be breastfeeding. I realize there are many differing opinions about when a child should be weaned, but honestly, if a child is old enough to feed themselves solid food then they are old enough to be weaned off their mother. Although the photographer in this shoot admits that this situation is a bit unusual, the headline for the story reads: “Are you Mom Enough?”, and it just bugs me to no end. So, if a mother doesn’t subscribe to attachment parenting, she isn’t ‘mom enough’? If she doesn’t let her child sleep in the same bed with her until they’re three or four, she is somehow less of a caring mother?

Which brings me to my last irritation: Attachment Parenting.

The whole notion of this “concept” is possibly the most irritating of them all. To illustrate my point, I will take directly from Wikipedia (the obvious answer to everything):

Per Dr. Sears’ theory of attachment parenting (AP), proponents such as the API attempt to foster a secure bond with their children by promoting eight principles which are identified as goals for parents to strive for. These eight principles are:

1.Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
2.Feed with Love and Respect
3.Respond with Sensitivity
4.Use Nurturing Touch
5.Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
6.Provide Consistent Loving Care
7.Practice Positive Discipline
8.Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

I’m sorry, but isn’t that just called “parenting”? I mean, if a human cannot handle doing/implementing any of those things listed above, they should never have attempted to become parents anyway. Why must we always go to extremes, and sub-define what should already be the norm? Because it isn’t the norm? Because we, as a society, suck so bad at raising children that we need to constantly define and redefine our parenting styles? Children should be disciplined when they’re naughty, they should get timeouts when they bite someone, they should sleep in their own beds at night to foster independence and ownership of their belongings, and they should be shown how to be loving individuals. I am not an expert on parenting, but the ‘extremes’ really bother me, and they always have.

All of this being said, I also believe that the parents need to figure out what works best for them. As long as you are raising a healthy, happy and kind child, I’d say you’re doing a fantastic job, and whatever your method: Kudos to you. One day, if/when I become a mother, I will have to make some decisions about how to raise my child, and who knows what kind of hippie nonsense I’ll come up with? Space Parenting? Wizard Parenting? LARP Parenting?

Happy Mothers Day, mothers:) Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Yesterday was May Day, and the creeps in Seattle came out of hiding and smashed some windows downtown. I heard more sirens, and more hollering than I usually do, but my block remained untouched. There is one photo floating around the internet that kind of sums it up: a guy smashing in the windows of Niketown…while wearing Nike shoes. Assholes without a cause. Awesome.

Today is Molly’s birthday. The only real mother I have ever known, the only real woman figure I have ever allowed to give me advice. We are fairly different people in almost every way, usually united in our effort to tease my dad, or make fun of people in general. She is nicer than I am, but doesn’t give hugs as freely as I’ve learned to. She is more patient, more tolerant, and dresses much better than I do. She also taught me how to keep a clean house, how to always write Thank You notes, and to genuinely try and be social with people I don’t care for. As a child, I was pretty fixtated on the fact that my own mother didn’t want me, and as an adult, I feel so wonderfully lucky that I had Molly in my life to try and fill that hole. She never had to, and I’m sure at some point she didn’t even want to because of my terrible attitude, but she always tried. I hope she’s having a good birthday with the family tonight.

Imogen Heap just came onto my pandora, and it’s taking me back to another time. Another body, another mindset. I still love this song:

For all the turmoil I felt in and around my life during the time I consumed this song, I still love it. So that’s saying something:) Years 2007, 2008 & 2009 can go to hell.

Happy Wednesday.

That being said, I have been riding the bus twice a day for two and a half weeks now, and I’ve had the chance to make some interesting judgements about humanity. Behold, my Top Five People You’ll Meet Riding the Bus list:

#5: Talks Loudly on the Phone Girl.
I am a woman, so I don’t feel bad saying this, but people who talk loudly on the phone in public places are almost always female. Why do you think it’s okay to loudly carry on your conversation while sitting on the bus? Nobody knows each other, so nobody is speaking to each other, so everyone without headphones can clearly hear everything you’re saying. You aren’t even attempting to be quiet. I think what irritates me the most is the idea of what this person is like in general, because if they are inconsiderate enough to talk loudly about the most mundane of topics on a crowded city bus, I can’t imagine what they’re like as a friend.

#4: The “Clearly Sick” Person.
You look sick, and if I wasn’t holding my breath, I’d bet you smell sick too. WHY ARE YOU ON THIS BUS? Why are you breathing near people? Why are you curled up in your seat, coughing every two minutes and exhaling loudly into the air?? Stop this right now! I understand if you “suddenly” come down with something and need to go home, but this didn’t happen two hours ago. Nope, you woke up sick this morning and decided you’d like to be a walking bomb. Thanks.

#3: The Guy Who Wants to be Best Buds with the Bus Driver.
I choose to sit in the front/middle so I can see who is getting on the bus. Call me crazy, but I like to know and see what goes on. I do not, however, sit so close to the front that I can make conversation with the driver. Almost every day though, someone does:

Person: “Hey, will this bus make it up the hill????????”
Driver: “Yep.”
Person: “But…like, HOW?”
Driver: “I don’t know, it just goes. Ten miles an hour, but it goes.”
Person (still not believing it): “Even with all these people on it?????”
Driver: “Yep.”
Person: “Oh. So how much does this bus weigh? Are you still nervous driving the bus? I bet you’ve gotten comfortable the more you drive it right? How long have you been a driver anyway???”

The fact that the driver has stopped answering questions doesn’t usually stop these people, and it just blows my mind that they’re so unaware of how annoying they are.

#2: The Person Who Refuses to Move.
Hey, I know you’ve been around people all day (or if this is the morning, maybe you haven’t had coffee yet), but MOVE IT DUDE. Do not roll your eyes when someone needs to get by, do not shake your head at the absurdity that someone should expect you to move your legs, or move your body an inch to the right. There aren’t enough seats for everyone, but there would be enough space if you deflated your ego a bit.

#1: The Person Who Doesn’t Know What Bus They Just Got On.
You are the WORST. Not only do you not know the difference between a regular bus and an express bus, but you do not pay attention. Everyday, at 3rd & Pike, the bus driver says “Next stop is 3rd & Virginia, last stop in the Ride Free Zone, and last stop in downtown Seattle!” Then, at 3rd & Virginia, he says it again. “LAST STOP ON 3rd. NO more stops until 1st & Mercer. LAST STOP.” And then he says it again, just in case you weren’t sure the first two times. I am not even exaggerating this, and that is why you are the worst, because we haven’t even gone three blocks from our LAST STOP in downtown and here you come walking down the aisle. Not only do you stand behind the driver, peering out the front window like you’re interested in what’s out there, but you always say the same thing:

“Uh, why didn’t you stop back there?”

I don’t know why this shocks me everyday, but it does. How were you not listening? HOW do you not KNOW and SEE that this #2 bus is the #2 EXPRESS BUS, and it does not stop at every stop you think it does. I understand possibly getting on the wrong #2, because it’s been a long day, or you’re new, or blah blah blah. But you didn’t listen when the driver announced the route THREE TIMES? Then comes the next question:

“Can you just let me off?”

NO. No he can not “just let you off” because you weren’t paying attention to his announcement (three times!). He has 70 other people who got on the right bus and know where they’re going. I’d love to know the world these people are living in, where people bend to their whim, because I want to go there and smack someone. And this happens every single day.

Thumbs up to the King County bus drivers. Even if I was paid a million dollars, I could never do your job.

I can still remember trying to convince Mikey (still one of my best friends to this day) to stop for a little while, and come to Amigos with us. I’d say he obliged me fifty percent of the time, but the other fifty percent was spent on the computer. It was like that with most of my friends, and they weren’t “nerds” or “losers” by any means, they just liked to play WoW.

It came back to me four or five years ago, and the experience was a little different. I started playing, and quickly understood why it was so awesome. It’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t care at all, but I’ve had some really fun evenings sitting at the computer, running around killing other people/things and making potions. I am not a “loser”, but I still get all giddy and excited when I meet someone who plays or has played. There is an instant understanding of what kind of person we both are, and then somes the test of whether they’re Horde or Alliance, which really makes a huge difference.

(You can’t see this, but I am smiling so huge right now. I am enjoying this blog post too much…)

I now work for a video game company in Seattle. So far, it’s been really fun and interesting, but the best part came yesterday when the IT guy said I could install World of Warcraft on my computer if I wanted to. My brand new, super fast computer? Yes and PLEASE. I do not feel the least bit embarrassed to love a computer game as much as I do, and anyone who thinks I’m lame because of it clearly doesn’t know me well. We all have our “things”, and for some people it’s Twilight, for other people it’s Harry Potter or Fern Gully or Lord of the Rings, and for some…it’s being an asshole to those who like something that you don’t understand.

Time to enjoy my Friday:)

“..you may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us, and the world will live as one.”

It’s a pretty delicate dance.

Today, I want to link to some of the best comedy posts/things in general I have ever read/seen. They are very indicitive of my sense of humor, and if you don’t think they’re funny, well we are probably not good friends. And that’s okay, we can just be normal friends.

Embarassment of the day. And it’s only 9 o’clock.: I’m sure I have posted this before, and for good reason. Meg (literally) makes me laugh out loud, and it’s almost always early in the morning while I’m drinking coffee.

Double Dream Hands: Because this NEVER EVER gets old to me. Shoulder, chin, shoulder shoulder shoulder.

And that’s why you should learn to pick your battles.: I love Jenny Lawson. She is just plain awesome, this is the purest example why.

The YES Dance: A bit ridiculous, but if the fork in the garbage disposal doesn’t make you laugh, I can’t help you.

Reasons Why Teens Shouldn’t get Tattoos: Funny on so, so many different levels.

Best laughing baby ever: How can you have a bad day with this video readily available?

I have more random posts and videos up my sleeve, but these are the highlights for today. Still need a ‘pick me up’? Shoot me an email and we’ll work it out:)

2. I also just got a new keyboard, and it’s so smooth and awesome.

3. Every time I send out a mass email to everyone at work, it goes out to Zombies, which makes me smile every single time.

4. My office smells like an orange.

5. Dave Matthews pandora is bringing me some sunshine.

Oh, and fun fact: People who say “I call it like I see it” usually see it like assholes. Thanks, Dooce:)

Going through Diaryland brings some of it back:

December 04, 2005

I’m hurting so many people by leaving. And I hate that. It’s like I am being an utterly selfish and ungrateful girl…and really, all I want to do is be free.

I get it. That was written seven years ago, and my, wasn’t I a mixed bag of emotions and stuff? It kind of makes my point though, because deep down, I truly loved being there but I just…left anyway. Sometimes my reasons for doing things elude me, I just know that I don’t want to be doing whatever it is that I’m doing, and so I stop/evaluate/move on.

I genuinely miss that place. It’s been two years since I’ve been back, and I actually crave it. It actually hurts. I don’t think these feelings actually warrant a new life change, and I think what I miss is something that no longer exists. My family is there, but my friends have all moved on in different ways, and Heather Lynn doesn’t even live there anymore. It really makes me want to burst into tears, because while those memories hold some pretty ridiclous things, the vast majority was so life changing. Maybe I just want it to be 2005 for a few days.

Okay, enough sadness. Moving on:)